How I Went From “not good enough” to Training with Confidence
I genuinely never thought I was worthy of training for a bike event.
My inner dialogue used to sound something like this:
“I’ll never stick to a plan.”
“I’ll never get fit enough anyway.”
“I’m not a racer, so why should I train?”
“Only fit people train!”
All of those thoughts were rooted in fear of failure and a lack of confidence in myself. And that last one in particular sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud now…
Comparing myself to others only left me feeling stuck, so I had to shift the focus to becoming a better version of me, FOR me.
Bit by bit, over the past few years, I’ve started to build up confidence through self compassion and acceptance. I’ve worked with life coaches to build self confidence OFF THE BIKE, and started going to a local Cross-Fit gym - this led to the realisation, “I can do hard things.” And soon, this mindset transferred to ON THE BIKE too and more recently I found a bike coach to help me build some bike fitness. I didn’t know it would lead to signing up for an event.
Why Your “Why” Matters
Goals are powerful, but it’s not just about setting them, it’s about making them work in your life and having a clear WHY. That bigger purpose is what helps you keep going when things feel uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or scary.
And if your why doesn’t align to what you really want, or you discover it’s more about what others expect of you, this is when the resistance will come up, and you’ll get frustrated at not doing what you said you would do, the motivation for the goal falls apart and then you build a negative story related to failure.
Over the years, I’ve developed mindset tools to help my clients work through this exact process - tools I still use myself all the time:
Being clear on how you want to be & feel
Getting clear on your values
Learning to use healthy boundaries
Honouring your needs
Trusting your own intuition
Having a strong WHY
Having a strong WHY around any changes you want to make in your life… whether its training for an event, moving house, changing jobs, or anything else… is crucial for maintaining a sense of purpose, and motivation.
And my WHY for training is more about lifelong fitness, enjoying longer rides and bigger adventures with more ease, to still be riding my bike in my 70’s, to be more confident to say YES to bike adventures with friends or maybe sign up to more events that come up.
Rethinking What Training Really Means
Something I’ve learned along the way is that setting goals isn’t just about “doing the thing” more often.
Take training for a bike event as an example (which as many of you know is my new current goal). It’s not only about riding my bike more often, it’s about looking at the whole picture. That means:
Being realistic with plans
Creating new routines
Allowing rest time
Finding the right gear for the event (clothing, storage on the bike, pedals etc)
Getting organised with kit so it’s easy to get out the door, before or after work
Thinking ahead about nutrition before and during rides
When I started to look at training this way, I realised it’s about building a lifestyle that supports the goal, not just hammering the pedals harder and more often. And surprisingly, I’ve found myself enjoying this side of the process too. Early morning rides have brought new joy!
Training has become a part of me now, but I feel it was locked away for years because of low self-worth and lack of confidence. Finding a sustainable way to fit exercise in to my life became a priority… singing up to the bike event came second!
Small Steps Count Too
A couple of weeks ago, I sat down with my coach, Charlie, and a blank sheet of paper and some coloured pens. We mapped out this holistic approach to training, which helped me see the bigger picture clearly.
And you know what? A simple 30-minute ride trying out clip-in pedals (yes, I have fallen over several times) or wearing Lycra shorts in public for the first time is all part of the process. And it counts as training too.
Having a coach is helping me to feel accountable to someone, but also having someone who understands the busy-ness of my life, and creating a bespoke plan to fit in and around everything that’s happening. It’s then down to me to prioritise it! Having a coach has also given me a bit of validation when I’m genuinely physically tired but also a wee kick when I need it too. It’s helping me to learn to trust myself along the way too.
Personal Reflection
I am still experimenting with kit, food and a new gym routine, but it all counts. It’s not always about how many miles I get on the bike. It’s the whole process that matters and I am starting to feel really proud of how I have tackled my approach to training, but how this has had a ripple effect in my life.
When I first started training, folk would ask me: what are you training for?! I didn’t know at the time… so just said “LIFE” and that actually felt really good. I didn’t have an event in mind, I just wanted my biking to be more enjoyable, to be able to keep up with the people I wanted to ride with and to feel fitter and stronger on the bike.
I have gained so much more!!
With training and increased fitness I’m feeling improved confidence on the bike. I have felt more comfortable to ride with different people, I am more empowered to go on rides not knowing exactly how far I’ll end up riding… and if I make a wrong turn, well it’s just extra miles and climbing gains…
I’m changing my mindset and it’s changing my life!
And it’s with a huge thanks to having a coach. Charlie’s continued patience and encouragement, validation when I need rest and a kick up the butt when I need it… has all helped me to learn to trust myself on this journey of bike fitness and confidence.
Here’s some examples of mantras or phrases helping me at the moment:
I GET to ride my bike
It’s a privilege to push myself
I can do hard things
Is that all you’ve got?
I’m so excited and curious about what else my body can do!
And this curious approach applies to so many changes we want to make in our lives.
Every small step counts. So if you’re working towards a goal, acknowledge the small wins along the way too!!
Next Steps for you…
If you’re someone who has goals bubbling away in your mind, but you’re struggling to get started or keep momentum, I’ve created new coaching packages designed to help you do just that.
CLARITY leads to confidence, which leads to taking meaningful and empowered action on the things that matter most to you.
If you’d like to talk through your own goals, and find ways to overcome the barriers holding you back, get in touch to explore coaching package options, which can include bundles with coaching on the move too (eg walk n talk, ride n talk).
It’s never too late to make positive changes in your life. Don’t waste any more time wondering… reaching out is the first step to taking action for YOU.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Jen x x x
